Behavior Analysis Center for Autism - BACA

BACA provides ABA therapy to help children with autism.

autism tips

3 Tips for Making Valentine’s Day Special for Your Autistic Child 

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As store shelves turn to masses of pink and red, some people get excited and others groan. Valentine’s Day, with all of its joy and complexities, is around the corner. Although love and social connection are important to everyone, Valentine’s Day can be tricky to navigate for many people, including some of our autistic loved ones. Different ages bring different challenges: from the drama of classroom valentine exchanges to the heart-stopping anxiety of having a date. Wherever your child may fall on this continuum of V-Day Life Lessons, a few considerations can help them feel cherished on this day. 

Prepare

Consider the potential challenges that your child might encounter that could be helped by some advance skill-building. Think carefully about what your child will encounter that day and what easily-acquired skills might help them enjoy the day more. A younger child whose class is exchanging valentines might benefit from practice; find out how the teacher will approach this (will the kids deposit them into a box or hand them out individually?) and rehearse in advance. A teen attending a dance might benefit from a social story about what to expect, previewing conversation starters, and maybe watching some realistic shows depicting teen dances to help set expectations. If anxiety is a factor (as it can be with anyone of any age!), make sure there is an easy way for them to contact you for an early pick-up. For safety, teens and young adults who are dating should have information about consent and sexual harassment at a level they can understand. Learning about good hygiene practices, manners, and general dating “dos and don’ts” can help to set them up for success.    

Accommodate

There will also be challenges on Valentine’s Day that can’t be solved by skill-building. Consider your child’s experience and be creative about the types of accommodations that might help them enjoy the day the most. If your child is on a special diet, find out if there will be school treats so you can arrange for something yummy for your little one. Some children will not enjoy the “typical” Valentine’s Day activities. Remember, it’s once a year, don’t stress over making them go to a class party they won’t enjoy. There may be accommodations that can help make regular activities okay (headphones), or you can simply ditch the regular valentines’ stuff and think of some fun alternatives instead. Perhaps instead of going to the dance, they can rather invite a friend over to bake brownies or watch a movie with their sibling.    

Love

Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to show others how much you care. As a parent or caregiver, showing affection for our children is one of the most fulfilling experiences. Think about your child’s preferences and give them a token of your love, whether that be treats, attention, a new Lego set, or a special rock. Giving them choices in preparing for the day (e.g., picking out valentines, choosing a special dessert, etc.), thinking about how to include their preferred interests in your plans, and making plans to accommodate sensory needs can communicate your love and respect.    

Some profoundly affected autistic folks will not be affected by the fact the world has turned pink and red; they may not understand or care. But this doesn’t prevent them from receiving your love and affection in the ways they do the rest of the year, so take the opportunity to connect with them on their level. Many autistic folks tend to anthropomorphize; if there are things (e.g., trains, books, electronic devices, etc.) that are the object of your child’s affection, think about how to celebrate these objects that give your child joy. 

For those autistic children who understand the social nuances of Valentine’s Day, it can create pressure around feelings of popularity and acceptance. If your child is experiencing these common hardships, do your best to shift the emphasis away from romantic love and toward other satisfying relationships in your child’s life. For some, that may be a friend, or for others, it may be family. Reassurance that they are accepted at home and loved unconditionally is paramount. 

Have Happy Valentine’s Day!

Last but not least: show yourself some love as well. Parenting isn’t easy and requires many qualities, including patience, empathy, and, most importantly, love. The love we give our children isn’t always returned in the moment, making it hard sometimes to reflect on all the wonderful things you do for your child. Remember, you’re raising a human, which is stressful yet important and incredible work. As you nurture your relationship with your child, you build their capacity to love and show love to others. This Valentine’s Day, take some credit for all you do for your child in the name of love and find a way to treat yourself, whether that means setting aside time to read or exercise, getting an extra hour of sleep, or calling a friend. You deserve just as much love on this special day.     For research-backed strategies on managing stress, check out “How Parents and Caregivers of Kids with Autism Cope with Stress.” To dive deeper into the topic of love and autism, learn more at “Myth: People with Autism Don’t Feel Love.”

Spotlight on Diversity in ABA: An Interview with Joshua Polanco

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A board certified behavior analyst (BCBA), managing technician, at LEARN’s Autism Spectrum Therapies (AST) in California’s Inland Empire region, Joshua Polanco provides supervision and behavioral intervention plans for clients in need of ABA services. He earned a master’s degree in psychology and ventured into ABA because he wanted to use that degree in a more direct and meaningful way. He’s also legally blind.

Here, he shares stories from his journey and experience working with children and young adults with autism—and his take on the importance of diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) in the field of applied behavior analysis (ABA).

Q: WHY DID YOU GET INTO ABA?

A: I was working as a behavioral technician and providing one-to-one services with multiple clients. I was about to quit after the first two weeks of working in the ABA setting because I did not have any experience with children with disabilities and felt like I was not helping my clients. Ironically, the clients and their families are what made me stay. To me, nothing can beat the sensation of knowing you have made a difference in someone’s life, and I have had so many fun experiences that helped me realize the importance of ABA, and how prevalent it is in our everyday lives. All of these experiences are what drove me to continue pursuing ABA to the position where I am now.

Q: WHAT DOES DIVERSITY, EQUITY, AND INCLUSION (DEI) MEAN TO YOU?

A: Everything. I feel these concepts as a whole are very overlooked at times. It’s not only important to have diversity, equity, and inclusion in the workplace but to also recognize the benefits provided when DEI is incorporated into a work environment. In my case, I may be legally blind, but that does not make me useless in a work environment that relies heavily on vision. I am able to continue to make an impact on peoples’ lives through my work and can actually provide a different perspective and understanding when helping clients or co-workers because of my loss of vision. 

Q: IN YOUR OPINION, WHAT IS THE MOST CHALLENGING ASPECT OF WORKING IN A DIVERSE ENVIRONMENT?

A: Trying to comprehend various interactions that take place. Balancing the state of empathy and understanding, while simultaneously needing to support and accomplish work objectives that need to be achieved.

Q: WHAT IS YOUR APPROACH TO UNDERSTANDING THE PERSPECTIVES OF COLLEAGUES OR CLIENTS FROM DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS?

A: The short, easy answer is that I take a step back and just listen. Self-awareness and self-control over your own biases and habits go a long way. It’s important to me to recognize the limitations you have in the moment. For example, you may not always be able to truly understand the perspective of others. This is OK—we are only human. I feel like there are ways to still attempt to understand to some degree. Failure to truly understand someone should not give us permission to disregard their perspective.

I’ve relied, to some degree, on multiple psychology books, articles, and notes from when I obtained my master’s degree in psychology, with an emphasis in clinical counseling and marriage and family therapy. When communicating with colleagues and clients, I always try to review and remember the concepts I learned on the dynamics of communication, including those on cognitive distortions and positive feedback loops. Understanding these can play a huge role on how I understand and communicate during a conversation.

Q: WHY IS DEI IMPORTANT IN ABA?

A: Without DEI, we would be refusing to grow ABA as a whole. ABA is a science that expands to more than any one individual population. Part of everything we do is to help, expand, and make a difference in the world. What better way to accomplish this than to recognize the different things people have to contribute.


Q: TELL ME ABOUT A TIME WHEN YOU ADVOCATED FOR DIVERSITY AND INCLUSION IN THE WORKPLACE OR IN YOUR PERSONAL LIFE.

A: One poignant instance in which I had to advocate for myself is the moment I was officially diagnosed blind, and I had to reach out to the HR department to figure out some resolutions and next steps forward. Luckily, I was part of a supportive team and was able to continue doing the core work I was educated to do and hired for, with some slight accommodations and adjustments.


Q: WHAT’S SOMETHING MOST COLLEAGUES DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU?

A: I do not know how many people know that I am legally blind. My condition is called Retinitis Pigmentosa (RP). There is no treatment. With this condition, my vision will gradually worsen. There is no telling how much vision I will lose tomorrow…or over the next 30 years. I don’t only have to think about how this affects the work I do with clients but how I adjust my everyday life to prepare for this. Through my work with rehabilitation specialists, I am learning to use technology, to read braille, and even to cook without looking.

Q: ANYTHING ELSE YOU’D LIKE TO ADD?

A: I was diagnosed legally blind less than a year ago. In that time, I’ve taken and passed the BCBA exam, which was the first test I’ve ever had to study for and take without my vision, while finding ways to balance my work, as I learn a new lifestyle. I hope the message from all of this is one of inspiration—that no matter how bad things may seem, it’s important not to let the events around you, define you. Take control of the things you can, adapt, and persevere through the adversity. Because this is what we ask of our clients each day.

For more from our Spotlight on Diversity in ABA series, read “An Interview with Angela Parker.”

Creating a Successful Holiday for Children with Autism

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All Autism Talk hosts Kathrine Johnson and Richie Ploesch, sit down to discuss strategies and tips to support a happy, safe, and fun holiday experience for children with autism. As Katherine shared, “When kids know what to expect, it can really help them regulate… and leaving space to let them have a choice and downtime can really help.”

For more helpful family tips all year round visit:

https://www.learnbehavioral.com/parentresources

https://www.facebook.com/learnbehavioral

https://www.youtube.com/c/Autismtherapies

Interested in ABA services for your child? Contact Us: https://lrnbvr.com/contact

Interested in a career in the ABA field? Apply Now: https://lrnbvr.com/apply-now

All Autism Talk (allautismtalk.com) is sponsored by LEARN Behavioral (learnbehavioral.com).

Transitioning to Summer: 5 Tips to Make It a Success

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by Elizabeth Jeffrey-Arceneaux, M.S., BCBA
Autism Spectrum Therapies (AST), Louisiana

With summer fast approaching, the increased time for preferred activities may be a point for joy and satisfaction, but this can also challenge parents as they attempt to transition kids from necessary tasks and activities. Most children, particularly those with autism, benefit from structure and routine in their schedule.

One of the reasons summer can create a challenge is that routines shift dramatically—or disappear altogether. This is further exasperated by the changing protocols of the pandemic, where we wear masks and stand six feet apart one day, only to loosen the mask mandate and stand three feet apart the next.

There are things you can do, however, to ease this transition and keep your child engaged this summer. Consider these five tips:

Only Take On What You Can Manage

For starters, understand what will allow your child to thrive and what you, as a parent or caregiver, can manage. Professionally, I’ve spoken to many parents who feel tired and frustrated—mostly due to their tendency to take on more than they have the time and energy to manage.

While it’s important to provide opportunities for your child, be careful of overdoing it and creating stress for yourself—and the whole family. Strategize and play to your child’s strengths.

Prioritize Activities

To avoid taking on more than your family can handle, you first need to realize that you can’t do everything—and need to prioritize. Decide the three most important things to you, as a parent or caregiver who knows your child and family well, and plan around those goals. For example, your goals might be to increase education, family fun, and time outside.

With your top three priorities identified, seek out resources to meet those goals. For example, many states offer an extended school year (ESY) option for children with disabilities. This program varies across the United States but provides a way to maintain educational activities at no cost to parents and caregivers in the same school system your child normally attends. Another option might be increased therapy time.

Often, you can find fun things to do with your family by attending events in your city. Many cities, in fact, host particular days in which children with autism or sensory sensitivity are given priority. In Louisiana, where I live, zoos, libraries, and other places host sensory days. These can be a great introduction to new activities. It might take research and planning, but doing so can help your child and family cultivate a wider array of interests.

Spend Time Outdoors

As my colleague, Genevieve Marshall, recently discussed on our blog, time in nature is good for all of us, particularly kids with autism. In fact, many children with autism enjoy water play, which you can set up outdoors, even without access to a pool. Simply fill up bowls or an inflatable pool, and give your child a mix of cups and utensils to interact with water in various ways.

Kids Playing On Beach. Children Play At Sea.

I keep a running list of outdoor sensory activities for my own children that includes:

  • tinting water with food coloring
  • mixing water with sand
  • making mud pies
  • drawing with sidewalk chalk
  • collecting and painting rocks (or simply setting up an easel and paints outdoors)
  • blowing bubbles (and making homemade bubbles)
  • picking flowers or weeds

The list goes on. These activities engage children on a sensory level, while allowing kids to spend essential time outside.

Plan—But Plan Flexibly

Although it’s critical to plan as much as possible for summer, it’s also important to accept and expect that you will need to be flexible. Often, programs like ESY and accessible summer camps don’t last the entire day. You can fill in unstructured time by having a loose schedule in place anchored by sleep, snack, and highly preferred break activities. Consider, too, using a visual aid and timer as you transition between activities, and do your best to stay consistent (and flexible!) across days.

Acknowledge Differences

If you have more than one child, realize and expect that your children are different, and prepare accordingly. For example, I have two toddlers. My youngest, at age two, typically is a wild and reckless toddler who loves new things, fireworks, and getting dirty. At the beach, he holds his father’s hand and loves hearing the ocean and feeling it cover his feet. He doesn’t mind varied environments with different sounds and senses.

My oldest, now three, hates fireworks and covers her ears. All loud noises cause her distress, particularly when unexpected. She loves playing in the sand at the beach but cries that the ocean is too loud. She also hates and refuses to walk across reflective floors. Instead of forcing her to fall in line and like the same things her brother likes, I give her earphones and encourage her to enjoy things from afar. I accept and honor their differences.

As you gear up for what we anticipate will be a more relaxed, open summer than last year, due to the pandemic, keep in mind that planning, prioritizing, and concentrating on what matters most to you and your family are key. Remember, too, that your time and energy are limited. Resist the urge to overschedule your family, and know that downtime is good for us all.

For more tips on helping your child with transitions, read “Easing Your Child Back Into Life Post-Pandemic.”